Choices
by NikkiB1973
Summary: This little story was one I wrote for a competition and never had the courage to submit! It starts on page 372 of New Moon when Bella is about to leave for Italy with Alice... Set in New Moon AU.


**Choices**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to Stephanie Meyer.

_**A/N-This little story was one I wrote for a competition and never had the courage to submit! **_

Starts on Page 372 of New Moon when Bella is about to leave for Italy with Alice, the words in italics are Stephanie Meyers, after that it is my interpretation...

_Jacob caught my arm, with a shivering hand."Please, Bella. I'm begging."_

_His dark eyes were glistening with tears. A lump filled my throat._

"_Jake, I have to..."_

"_You don't though. You really don't. You could stay here with me. You could stay alive. For Charlie. For me."_

_The engine of Carlisle' Mercedes purred, the rhythm of the thrumming spiked when Alice revved it impatiently. _

I stared over at the dark, sleek car. The overhead lights were shining on the tinted windows and I could not see Alice sitting in the driver's seat. I felt a small irritation run through me. What was she trying to do making me rush my goodbye? I was once again about to place myself in extreme danger to rescue Edward from committing a suicidal act because he couldn't bear to live with the guilt over my supposed death. This thought made me pause, the rush of adrenaline which had spurred me into a mad dash to get to Edward drained away, and the rational part of my brain began to question my judgement and make me reassess my decisions.

I felt Jacob place a warm hand on my arm and the heat from his touch made me look back at him. His dark eyes were shining still with unshed tears and the lump in my throat dropped to my stomach as I saw the devastation written all over his face.

"Don't go Bells; I don't want you to die. I need you, please." He whispered again. He stepped closer to me almost as if he could sense me second guessing my decision. I had to step back from him; his presence was making it hard for me to think. I needed to be able to just think. I felt so tired and overwhelmed. Ever since Edward had first left me my life had been a chaotic mess. The only bright spots of the past few months had been the times that I had spent with my best friend. Jacob was so loyal, I had tested his patience on many occasions and he had still stuck by me. I mean he had even followed me off a cliff to come and rescue me from drowning. I not only owed my life to him but my sanity as well.

Jacob touched my arm again, his supernatural warmth flooded through me and I raised my head, my long hair falling about my face. I wondered what I must look like to him at this moment. To be honest I couldn't even comprehend why he even bothered with me at all, I only ever hurt him. He reached out and traced a trembling finger along my cheek and I became caught up in the way he was gazing at me.

"Bella, you know how I feel. Please, I know that you say we are only friends but we could be so much more than that. Don't throw your life away for someone who is already dead? "

The sound of a horn beeping startled me. I turned my head away from Jacob and I heard him curse as we both saw Alice standing by the driver's door of the Mercedes, she was staring over at us with her golden eyes, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Bella, we need to go. Time is running out, I worry that Edward will do something reckless if he doesn't see that you are still alive and well. "She held out her hand but something was keeping me rooted to the spot. Jacob's hand was resting on my shoulder and, even though he wasn't exerting any pressure, I instinctively knew that it was him anchoring me in place.

"You say that you are Bella's friend," his voice was steady as he spoke to Alice. "If you are the friend that you purport yourself to be then you would never place her in danger like you are about to do. If your _brother ," _Jacob's tone changed as he made reference to Edward. I turned my head to look up at him; his face was showing his desperation as he tried to bargain with Alice. "If he loves Bella as much as you say then he would not want her placed in such danger."

Alice became like a frozen statue and I saw her eyes locking onto Jacob, my tongue seemed to be glued to the roof of my mouth. I couldn't speak. All I could do was watch as they stared at each other.

"If she doesn't come with me now, Edward will die..." her voice cracked and I felt if she could cry there would have been tears rolling down her pale cheeks. I felt wetness on my own and finally realized I had been crying the whole time.

Jacob's other arm had slipped around my waist as he kept a tight hold of me. I felt the heat from his body running the length of my back and I had no desire to pull away. I waited for him to speak, my own voice continued to disobey me as I remained mute.

"If you take her to Italy, then she will die..." he said eventually. His arm around my waist tightened briefly and I gasped as my breath left my body. He seemed to realize he was squeezing me too tightly as he quickly lessened his hold on me.

I saw Alice's eyes flicker between me and Jacob, her forehead creased and I recognized the glazed expression on her face. She was trying to see into the future. I recalled what she had said earlier about the wolves blocking her sight. Her small hands clenched into fists as her concentration broke and she sagged against the cold metal of the Mercedes.

"I can't see...not anything."She sounded so miserable I felt my heart flutter.

My voice finally came back to me as I felt more tears leak out of my eyes. All I ever did was cry and I was so sick of it. "Alice, why did Edward really leave me? I know that he said it was because he no longer...loved me, but was there another reason?"

Alice raised her head, her short spiky black hair framing her small face. She gazed at me sorrowfully. "He left because he loved you so much Bella, he did not want to place your life in danger any more than he had to. You had already suffered so much, he was trying to do the right thing but it seems our leaving did not have the required outcome. You are still in peril from Victoria..."

A low growl came from Jacob's throat at her words. "What a load of bullshit. You vamps really are up yourselves. He left because he was only thinking of his own needs. I was here when Bella fell apart, I am the one who had to help keep her together and I and my pack are the ones still here, fighting to keep her safe. Your leech doesn't know the true meaning of love. Love means being there for that person, no matter what. You don't just run off and abandon that person because of some outdated noble whim. I love Bella and I would never leave her, ever." He yelled at Alice passionately.

My breath quickened at his declaration and I could see out of the corner of my eye that Alice too seemed startled by his words. I turned in his arms and stared up at him. I knew that he loved me, he had not said the words directly but he was right, it was there in front of me. He showed it in the way he greeted me each time with his bear hugs, the way he smiled at me, the way he protected and continued to keep me safe, even from myself. He showed me when he leapt off of a cliff without a thought to rescue me. The realisation of my own blindness appalled me.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered, placing my hand on his chest. I could feel the pounding of his heart through his thin t-shirt.

Jacob wrapped both of his long arms around me and crushed me to his chest. My own arms found their way around his waist and I hugged him back, just as tightly. I heard Alice's voice calling out to me, but the loud sound of Jacob's heart beating resounded in my ear, blocking out what she was saying. We both stood there for several minutes, holding onto each other for dear life. It was only the sound of the Mercedes revving up again that made me pull away from him.

Alice was once again sitting in the front seat of Carlisle's car; she had wound the window down and was staring at me dejectedly. "I see you have made your decision, Bella. I just hope you can live with the consequences."

"How dare you? Get out of here..." Jacob yelled back at her, she gave me one last bitter glance and then floored the accelerator, the wheels spun as she pulled away at high speed. The black Mercedes soon disappeared into the dark night.

I stood there staring in the direction that Alice had fled. My head was whirling with what had just happened. I didn't know what to think or do, my body shivered as the weight of guilt began to drag me down. I had just condemned Edward; his death would be my fault. I tried to remain upright as the consequences of my actions finally began to sink in. I staggered as my vision became blurry; once again it was Jacob who saved me from the fall.

XXXXXX

When I came to, Jacob was kneeling in front of me, holding a glass of water. I glanced around and realized I was lying on the sofa in my front room. He must have carried me back inside the house while I was comatose. I took the proffered water from him and drank the cool liquid thirstily. Jacob watched me anxiously the whole time, a worried look clouding his handsome face.

"Thanks," I said, passing him the now empty glass.

He took it and placed it on the coffee table before returning his attention back to me. "Do you hate me?" he asked bluntly.

"Hate you?" I reached out and touched his cheek tentatively. His skin was smooth and soft, the difference between him and Edward's rock hard skin was glaringly obvious. I sighed as I began to pull my hand away, but he stopped me by pressing his hand over mine and holding it in place on his cheek.

"Please, Bells...don't hate me." he pleaded again. "I can't lose you, please say you forgive me."

It finally sank into my tired brain exactly what he meant. I gave him a weak smile. "Jacob, you are my best friend. What happened today was entirely my fault. The decision in the end was mine...I couldn't go, not this time."

Relief washed over his face as he slid next to me on the sofa and pulled me onto his lap, wrapping his arms around me. The feel of his warm body enclosing mine soothed me and Alice's last accusing words began to leak out of my frazzled mind. We stayed like that for a while, him cradling me while I lay limp against him.

"What made you stay in the end?" he eventually broke the silence.

I looked up at him, trying to think of the best way to phrase my answer. I was still so messed up inside, I could tell that he wanted to hear some kind of declaration from me, but I still wasn't in a good place to commit anything to him just yet. I needed to sort through my guilt over Edward's fate and my part in it. Not to mention there was still the looming problem of Victoria. I took one of his hands and placed it over my heart. I saw him swallow nervously as he looked up at me from under his long eyelashes.

"Jacob, you are in here, you always have been. You hold a big piece of my heart, you know that. I stayed because I couldn't keep running anymore. Edward left me and if he truly wanted to be with me, it would not have been Alice who came back to see if I was alive. I owe you so much and...and I do love you but..."

Jacob smiled and placed a finger over my lips to stop me speaking. "I know Bella; you don't have to say anymore. You're here and that is enough for now."

I gave him a relieved smile, as always he knew me inside and out. He would wait and when I was ready to return his affections I knew that he would be there, arms wide open. I laid my head on his chest and listened to the soothing beat of his heart until I fell into a restful sleep.

_**A/N-Writing in FPOV is really hard; I don't know how the other author's do it, LOL. Thanks for reading. **_


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